nate patrin.

June 20, 2008, 8:35 am
Filed under: Miscellaneous | Tags: ,

For addressing one of my primary linguistic concerns. As someone who has been needlessly referred to with this word on more than one occasion in electronic correspondence (usually coupled with its long-suffering running buddy, “hipster”), I hold out hope that this backlash against a worn-out term — the ninja/pirate/robot/zombie reference of calling people out on their shitheadedness — eventually causes usage of this word to subside, though there’s probably no stopping it becoming as indelibly fused to this decade as “gnarly” or “groovy” or “daddy-o” were to theirs.

Meanwhile, here’s some words you may want to use instead when the opportunity to namecheck feminine hygiene products arises:

-smarmy-ass motherfucker
-popped-collar prick
-knob (efficient, succint and fun to say!)

June 19, 2008, 10:20 am
Filed under: Music | Tags: , ,

What I was hoping for: “Wouldn’t it sound cool if…”

What I got: “Wouldn’t it sound hilarious if…”

June 16, 2008, 5:40 pm
Filed under: Criticism | Tags:

“He shouldn’t act like he knows so much about music. He isn’t even a musician.


“Where’s he get off, bitching about how much he hated that restaurant? It’s not like he’s Mario Batali or something.”

“God, what a dick, all ‘bluh bluh what a stupid movie’. Has he ever gone behind the camera? No? Fuck him.”

“What do you mean, your car’s a broke-down piece of shit? Pfft, whatever. Maybe if you were Ferry Porsche I’d take your word for it.”

“Yeah, like you’ve ever been President. Shut up.”

June 14, 2008, 1:18 pm
Filed under: Music | Tags: ,

Yeah, I have a muxtape now. I got this idea that every week I’m going to upload a new 12-song mix, starting with 1958 and going all the way through 2008, with no artists repeating. This does mean I’m going to have to keep overwriting my old mixes, which is going to be kind of a nuisance, but you do what you can with what you’ve got, I suppose. Here’s the playlist for 1958, in case you’re reading this a few weeks/months/etc. from now and it’s already been replaced:

1. Huey “Piano” Smith and the Clowns – Don’t You Just Know It (2:31)
2. Eddie Cochran – Summertime Blues (2:00)
3. Macy Skipper – Quick Sand Love (2:35)
4. Magic Sam – 21 Days in Jail (2:41)
5. Ric Cartey – Scratching on My Screen (2:31)
6. Vince Taylor & the Playboys – Brand New Cadillac (2:35)
7. Dale Vaughn & the Starnotes – How Can You Be Mean to Me (2:20)
8. The Moonlighters – Broken Heart (2:20)
9. Chuck Berry – Blue Feeling (3:03)
10. Champion Jack Dupree – Can’t Kick the Habit (3:43)
11. Billie Holiday – You’ve Changed (3:20)
12. The Chantels – Maybe (2:55)

June 11, 2008, 5:31 pm
Filed under: Criticism, Music | Tags: ,

Does being a rock fan and loving the Ramones while being a rap fan and hating Soulja Boy Tell’em make you a hypocrite?

June 9, 2008, 7:14 pm
Filed under: Criticism, Music

What have I done for writer stuff recently? Uh.

PITCHFORK: The new Black Angels album is kinda boring. James Pants’ Welcome, despite being technically “worse” than Directions to See a Ghost, is most assuredly not boring. Ladytron’s Velocifero ain’t too shabby. Steinski’s best-of is essential. The Electro Box is a little less so, which is good because it’s probably impossible to find now. And Quiet Village’s Silent Movie is really great, even after I found out where all the samples came from and how little they changed them. Also I’m going to the Pitchfork Music Festival this year, because I have never seen Public Enemy or Cut Copy or Boris or Spoon or King Khan & His Shrines live and I’d really like to. Also, if you want to track me down and harangue me for not liking an album you love, I will be easy to spot. Just look for the guy who looks exactly like Jim DeRogatis and also is wearing a nametag that says “Jim DeRogatis”.

CITY PAGES: I contribute a factually-shaky but photo-riddled writeup of George Clinton & P-Funk at First Ave (NOTE: someone else took the photos; the factual errors are mine alone). I also have a photo-deficient but presumably less erroneous geekout over El-P and Dizzee Rascal at the Triple Rock. Also, I say hurtful things about a mediocre auto-racing video game.

PAPER THIN WALLS: I like Men Without Pants — wait, that didn’t sound right, did it? Shit. In other news, I am not big on Chin Chin. And a Can Ox pseudo-reunion? Shit, sign me up. Plus extra bonus fawning over Quiet Village.

eMUSIC: Fat Ray & Black Milk. Rap!

FINALLY: I kind of, sort of, accidentally pseudo-wrote the hook to the hott new Best Show on WFMU-constructed Ted Leo & the Pharmacists superjam, “The World Is in the Turlet”. Long story short, this was a listener-aided effort to collectively write a song for TLRX, and not realizing the gravity of the situation I phoned in with some sub-Meltzer doggerel that Rob Zombie might have possibly fished out of his trashbasket in a desperate attempt to finish the title song to the soundtrack for his upcoming film Satan Bastard Murder Jerks. A bit later I called in to apologize, offered a more generic lyrical contribution that went unused, and noted the fact that the song seemed to be building around the idea of how “the world’s going down the toilet”. Tom picked up that ball and ran with it, so now I kind of feel like that Daily Mail reporter who wrote the news story about the pothole problem in Blackburn. Except that this song doesn’t end one of the most overrated albums ever.

June 9, 2008, 6:27 pm
Filed under: Music

Thanx to Leonard Pierce, I got roped into the seven songs occupying your mind meme-deal that’s been pinballing its way through music blog land. Anything to get me posting to this howling void, I s’pose.

Grover Washington, Jr., “Knucklehead”
Grand Theft Auto has not really altered my behavior in any way that would make me any more prone to violence or crime, but it has turned me on to and/or reminded me of a lot of fantastic music; GTA III in particular was really useful in that it alerted me to how great Scientist’s early ’80s stuff was and now he’s basically up there with King Tubby, Prince Jammy and Lee “Scratch” Perry in my list of favorite dub artists. This particular GTA IV soundtrack selection, which I recognized almost immediately as the source of the beat from K-Solo’s “Fugitive,” is one of those things that completely and totally justifies jazz’s dalliance with funk and soul fusion in the early-mid ’70s, all sharp, towering horns and slinky low-end that sounds perfect next to circa ’75 stuff like, say, Parliament’s “Mothership Connection (Star Child)”. Great in any context; even better when you’re ditching a three-star wanted level in a faux-Cadillac.

Clarence Carter, “What Was I Supposed to Do”
A super-smoky, Mooged-all-to-hell downtempo ballad centering around a nightclub flirtation scenario gone wrong. Basically Clarence is upset at some other man flagrantly macking on his lady (asking the color of her lingerie, grabbing her behind, real classy shit) and spends most of the song attempting to justify whatever unspoken-of retaliation he enacted on this scuzzy Romeo. It’s kind of macho and possessive on some hot-tempered super-chivalry business, though he seems to justify his actions against the other man with the notion that he doesn’t want his woman to be “disrespected” — it’s kind of a gender-studies minefield, I suppose. It’s also really, really blunted, with all kinds of super-reverbed guitars and the aforementioned Moogs — there’s at least three different keyboard lines running through this thing, and they all sound like ’70s sci-fi dystopia.

The Go, “Secular Century Man”
These guys should be a whole lot dumber, but they’re not. I described them once, at least in the context of their Jack White-augmented ’99 Sub-Pop debut Whatcha Doin’, as “KISS in MC5 camouflage,” but there really isn’t a whole hell of a lot wrong with really basic, really familiar rock tropes when they hit on so many cylinders just right, stonkingly obvious lyrics (“altered states of consciousness/have changed my brain in permanent ways”) notwithstanding. Nu-garage-psych is pretty hard to screw up, but it’s also pretty hard to make into an earworm, which this chorus does severely. And they don’t seem too prone to smirkiness, which always helps.

Melt-Banana, “We Will Rock You”
Japanese noise-rockers breathe life into Queen’s most tiredest-assed song by turning it into minimalist yet super-noisy subwoofer fodder — the stomp-stomp-clap is replaced with a whole lot of Miami/ghetto-bass low end, and instead of Freddie Mercury running around singing like he’s grabbing his junk you get these really, really chirpy lead vocals that deflate the whole goonish machismo yet still sound really enthusiastic and exciting.

The Whitest Boy Alive, “Golden Cage (Fred Falke Remix)”
When Michaelangelo Matos breathlessly asks me “OK, have you heard this” it usually means I’ll wind up with a candidate for single of the year (see also: LeLe’s “Breakfast”), and this fits that scenario. He already covered this song in his version of this meme with the mostly-appropriate phrase “Camaros. Keyboards. Riffs. Yes.” As someone who is far more interested in the place of automobiles in the pop-culture pantheon than anyone without actual ownership of a car should be, I figure this is more Lotus Esprit than Camaro: all straight folded-paper lines, built around maneuverability rather than raw horsepower, and drawing off a stylistic backbone that has aged surprisingly well since the base model’s mid ’70s-late ’80s heyday. Erlend Øye is one of those singers that has a traditionally melodic and rich, warm voice but sounds really, really good pitted against the super-synthetic (see also his appearance on Someone Else’s remix of Röyksopp’s “Remind Me”), and few house producers make the super-synthetic sound warm like Fred Falke, so it’s a win-win.

Joe Bataan, “What Good Is a Castle, Pt. 2”
An amped-up 1975 rework/rewrite of a ballad from his 1970 album Riot! — Pt. 1 is also ballady, but this portion of the song is all high-grade Latin funk with a fantastic electric piano and a vocal melody that somehow manages to sound mournful and lonely even as everything around it is a big uptempo party. The unofficial Pt. 3 instrumental coda after the fake ending is a nice bonus.

Eric B. & Rakim, “Juice (Know the Ledge)”
Always a classic, though after watching the movie from whence it came I was kind of disappointed that things started deviating from NYC-in-92 slice-of-life-gone-wrong drama got into credibility-straining super-melodrama territory. (Director Ernest R. Dickerson would later helm some of my all-time favorite episodes of The Wire, though, so it’s all good.) The line that sticks with me in Rakim’s lyrics: “Somebody’s got to suffer, I just might spare one/And give a brother a fair one”. Dude made sympathy sound badass.